So here he lies at the last.
The deathbed convert.
The pious debauchee.
Could not dance a half measure, could I?
Give me wine, I drain the dregs and toss the empty bottle at the world.
Show me our Lord Jesus in agony and I mount the cross and steal his nails for my own palms.
There I go, shuffling from the world.
My dribble fresh upon the bible.
I look upon a pinhead and I see angels dancing.
Well? Do you like me now?
Do you like me now?
Do you like me now?

Do you like me... now?

Allow me to be frank at the commencement.

You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on.

Ladies, an announcement: I am up for it, all the time. That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact. I put it round you know. And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it. Don't. It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my tarse up your petticoats.

2 peaches make a pear
and I am married to my favorite Ryder.
I am forgiveness, all and everyone,
The South has risen,
And I am done.
Free at last
The last cry
It doesn't matter why.
I have the life I wanted,
However hard
Or haunted
I have the man I love
No matter how imperfect,
Or complicated
Perhaps the truth is overrated,
I don't know.
I can say this,
In truthfulness,
I loved, in some way,
Everyone,
And wished them well,
And wished them the best
And wished them happiness.
I wanted a fairy tale,
But didn't think about the wickedness,
That often comes with those,
I wanted Prince Charming,
And I got him, thorns and all,
No matter what I can't recall,
Or even,
What I can.
And even if I do not understand.
Whatever else anyone has been,
I've been true to me,
True to him,
And done the best I could,
And know everyone else has too.
And if this world was not reality, or is not,
Parts of it have been so real to me,
And I wouldn't change it,

Wake up to my roommate babbling aimlessly to no one in particular about her "dealer." She says she won't be safe once she leaves here - that her dealer will beat the shitt out of her with his computer - the keyboard to be exact. She continues a conversation with her two invisible friends in the echoey bathroom as I shove my head deeper into the practically nonexistent pillow. Apparently, one of her imaginary friends is trying to convince her to smoke while the other is threatening to kill her if she does. I wince and try to continue sleeping, but it's too late - I'm awake in an institution.

I get up and rub the crust out of my eyes; collect the crumpled "sheets" - now a pile of cheap plastic on the floor - from the corner of my bed against the filthy, cold concrete wall. I gather them in a ball in my arms and carry them to the soiled linens basket outside my room.

I know, I talk about it all the time, but my boyfriend's coming tomorrow!!

At 2:30PM I'll be getting on the train to the airport! It'll take 2,5 hours instead of 2 hours to get there, since they're working on crap in Amsterdam, so we have to go.. around it basically. I don't mind though, I've got my iPod and I'll be bringing books to read, so I'll be fine.

Ahhh, Schiphol, the place I both love and hate passionately. Tomorrow will be the love-part. I'm so excited to walk around there again. People-watching before my boyfriend arrives, peeking at stuff in the stores.

This used to be our meetup place:

But I don't wanna do that anymore. I wanna watch him from behind the glass wall at baggage claim. Creepy, I know.

With the sudden and tragic death of Jacko, our culture has been threatened with a new problem. This problem requires an immediate solution. Thankfully, I have that solution.

I have searched and traced and delved and found the core of America’s spurt in mental illnesses. There was an incredibly lengthy build up behind it spanning many, many decades…elite-capitalism. Yup. Look at America’s rich and successful. All those years of stress and psychological endurance - College, grad school, staying at the top of the class while working multiple jobs, stabilizing a home life all with no time to get laid or even masturbate. Build up, build up, build up…No stress relief and even after that, you achieve your position in some hotshit, while collar firm, you got the responsibility’s of retaining a house, marriage, family, job…Mr. White Pickett Fence, your wife chews fresh holes in you for your boss to fuck and your kids don’t appreciate much of it. You push the demons to the back of your mind. You got bigger things to worry about. You lock them in some broom closet and pretend they’re not there. They multiply the more successful you are.